The past couple of weeks have been busy over here. I don’t use that word a lot because I like to keep things chill and my schedule manageable, but there’s been more on my plate than usual. This is actually the perfect time to talk about mindset because it’s that (along with some productivity skills) that helps me stay on track in my business.
It helps me take breaks when I need it because I know that will recharge me for the next task. It helps me notice when my thoughts are unhelpful and shift away from those moments of negativity. And, it helps me adjust my schedule and my expectations when things get busy.
Today I’m sharing some of my current mindset practices, because as I grow and my business grows different things are helpful – new level, new devil is a real thing. The more you put those mindset practices in place while your business is small the easier it will be to keep those habits going as you grow.
Links + Resources
Tony Robbins, Unleash Her Power Within – core.tonyrobbins.com/uhpw
Breathwrk app – www.breathwrk.com
BetterHelp app – www.betterhelp.com
First, let’s define mindset because it’s become a buzzword in the online business industry and a lot of times used as a catchall if you’re not able to accomplish your goals or do the things that you want to do. There’s a lot of talk about fixing your mindset or changing your mindset and then you’ll be able to be successful or hit six figures or seven figures or whatever. When that solution is used without direction it can actually be harmful.
The actual definition of mindset is: the established set of attitudes held by someone
Your experiences create your beliefs which means your mindset comes into play in everything you do. It’s what allows you to stick with a habit or fall off the wagon. It’s the comparison that comes up when you scroll through Instagram. It’s what holds you back from going live because you worry about the way you look or what people will think or your ability to do something well.
Now one of the issues I’ve seen is people using mindset as a blanket term for what needs to be fixed. You need to work on your mindset isn’t the most helpful advice because it isn’t specific enough. It’s helpful to look at specific challenges or things you’ve been avoiding or holding back on and identify what beliefs you need to shift to be able to take action.
Do you need to feel confident and powerful so you can make videos? Do you need to be empathetic to be a great coach? Do you need to feel energized and upbeat to keep your clients excited?
The reason I break it down like this is because I can tell you that I do breathwork and journal but just doing those things won’t solve your mindset problems unless you know what beliefs are keeping you stuck.
Staying off social media outside of work. Now, I try to stay off social media when I’m not actively posting or looking for something during the workday, but after work/weekend is a more strict boundary. To give me a leg up on sticking to that I actually have a second Instagram account that I only use when I’m in the mood to scroll. I only follow accounts that make me feel good and I want to see every day. To keep me from scrolling in my biz account (which only adds tasks to my list and makes me feel like I need to do more and more and more – mindset issue) I switch accounts when I’m done so that every time I open Instagram I’m seeing my personal account.
I’m also in a Tony Robbins program right now called Unleash Her Power Within. It’s run by Karissa Kouchis and it includes a virtual version of Unleash The Power Within which is the live event with Tony. A lot of what this program goes through is resetting your beliefs about yourself and your abilities and what you want in life.
I actually wasn’t intending to buy this program – a reminder that the power of webinars totally works. I watched her free webinar in which she taught the very first piece of the program (like 50% of the first week’s content). Of course, on the webinar, they had a little discount and the bonus of getting access to the virtual version of Tony‘s live event. I know multiple people who have gone to his events and gotten a lot out of it, so I went for it and I’m really glad I did because I have been digging up some old beliefs and also some beliefs I didn’t actually realize I had.
That is something I have been focusing on myself for the past couple of months. Trying to figure out what societal conditioning – conditioning from school, family, work, media – and untangling what keeps true and authentic to me and ditching what doesn’t, including a lot of beliefs that make up my mindset.
Having a step-by-step process and digging into every area of my life one by one has been extremely helpful to get down to those core beliefs that aren’t serving me. If Tony isn’t your vibe there are lots of coaches with similar processes.
Part of this program is being in a group of people and hearing other people’s stories and responses and reactions. You simultaneously realize that your problems aren’t that big because other people have worse things going on and also that you have some shit to work on because some people are at the next level and they have a level of freedom that I aspire to.
On the first call (it’s video), we’re on camera and I can see everyone else and if you know anything about Tony Robbins programs there’s always a point where you’re gonna get up and jump around and dance and like lose your shit. So that point comes and everybody is getting out of their seats and jumping around and there are some people just sitting and waving their arms, and some people just kind of rocking back-and-forth to the music, and there are some people who are just slumped looking at their computer. I watched that as one of the people dancing in their chair and thinking I want to either have the balls or the energy to jump out of my chair and dance. The other thing I know about those programs is that most of the people that were out of their chairs dancing their asses off have already been through one of the programs. Doing this work in a group allows me to see the next level or the possibilities available through the other students which helps to keep me motivated to do the work.
I am also still big into journaling. This is something that has become easier and easier for me over the past couple of years. I have always had a journal since I was a kid. I would be really into it for a week or two and then I would get tired of it and stop for months. I think part of my problem was that I was trying to write in a way that I, or someone else after I’m dead, would be able to read it like a story. I was trying to write about my experiences and then also edit so it made sense, which was really not inspiring me to keep going.
Now I just braindump and I guarantee if anybody read what I’ve been writing it would seem crazy because it’s just whatever is coming into my mind on that day. Half sentences, lists of crap, sometimes I can’t even read my own writing because it’s really just about the act of getting it out of my brain.
Writing things down, number one, helps me work through my thoughts, and number two, it just lets me put whatever is in my mind away for a little while. I tend to write at night before I go to sleep to kind of clear my brain of anything that I might start spiraling around when I really should be going to sleep. Sometimes I also grab my journal during the day when I can’t get focused or I am procrastinating. I just start writing to see if I can dig into what’s really throwing me off.
My only habit that is a daily routine is using the Breathwrk app. I do a few minutes of breathwork before I go to sleep at night. That’s not directly mindset-related, however, practicing focus even for a few minutes a day helps you catch your thoughts and pay attention to your emotions as they come up.
This morning I literally heard my brain say something negative. Then I heard it respond – and I’m literally just making breakfast and overhearing this happen like a bystander. There was the negative thought and then my brain literally said “Are you kidding me??” and switched it to a more positive thought. I keep catching my brain making little comments here and there, and they’re not so nice, but every time I catch it I can remind myself that’s not true and I can say something nice to myself instead.
Full-on meditation hasn’t been working for me lately. I’m just a little too distracted, but I can use an app with a graphic and sound to do breathwork and practice being focused that way instead. This is probably one of the biggest things that helps in the moment because there’s not a point where you get your mindset straight and you’re totally fine forever. There are new challenges all along the way and you’re gonna doubt yourself and second guess no matter what. Practice catching your thoughts (without identifying with them or judging yourself) so that you can be kind to yourself and practice switching those beliefs.
My last mindset practice right now is therapy. I just started with a new therapist through the BetterHelp app which I’m really liking. If that is on the top of your to-do list an app is a great place to start. Finding an in-person therapist is challenging no matter what but I think there are a lot more people needing therapy so BetterHelp will give you much faster access to a therapist. I really like the person they matched me with.
Therapy helps me 1. talk about my problems with someone who isn’t involved in my life, who doesn’t have opinions on my life, which gives me more clarity. And 2. I’m able to work through some of those mindset issues that go a little deeper. For example – I know my perfectionist and controlling tendencies aren’t something new that’s just related to hiring help in my business. There’s a thread of that woven into my family history and just fixing my mindset in relation to work isn’t going to be enough because it will keep manifesting in different ways. As my business grows and I grow as a leader I know I need that outside, more personal support so that those things don’t turn into issues inside my business.
I talked about releasing control and hiring help in a recent episode because that’s something I had to work to be able to do. It was both a personal issue and a business issue and I’ve found that I need to work on it from both sides.
If you are feeling like you want to spend time working on your mindset, I highly recommend it, whether you’re 10 days in business or 10 years. I’m about to hit the 10-year mark in my business and it’s one of my favorite things to focus on because you get results quicker than endlessly searching for strategies that never seem to fit.
Figure out what challenge is showing up for you most right now. What are you holding back on? What are you procrastinating? What thoughts are throwing you off and when does that happen most?
Is it a lot of scrolling and comparison? Is it worrying about what people think of the way you look or what you have to say? Because it’s a little bit easier to work on something very specific – like feeling more confident about the way you look or the way you speak which you can find specific exercises and tips for – rather than just trying to improve your mindset as a whole. Work on little pieces at a time and you’ll see results faster which will motivate you to do more mindset work.